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124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More!

Thursday, August 20, 2020   /   by The Villages Home Search

124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More!

You’ll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life.

retirement quotes

Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list:

Funny Retirement Quotes

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons

65 tips for a healthy, wealthy and happy retirement.

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. George Burns

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson

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When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. Sherriff

I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young

A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job. Ella Harris

Best places to retire

You have to put off being young until you can retire. Author Unknown

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers

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Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty O’Neill Collins

I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. Leonard Cohen

I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day O’Connor

Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way. Betty White

14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best!

Facts about financial success later in life!

Something pretty… that’s just the surface. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you don’t worry about it. Jeanne Moreau

It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney

I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner

Often when you are at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde

The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. Bruce Grocott

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets

Tips for retirement from the science of happiness

In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley

It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney

Inspirational Retirement Quotes

inspirational retirement quotes

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. Oliver Wendell Holmes

Often when you are at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers

The best is yet to come! Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman

Jump in! The water is fine! Anonymous
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I’m possible! Audrey Hepburn

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. J. Lubbock

You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers

120 ideas for what to do in retirement

Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes. Zig Ziglar

Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. Jim Rohn

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty O’Neill Collins

I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. Leonard Cohen

If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough. Oprah Winfrey
Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Ifyou feel like there’s something out there that you’re supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. Wanda Skyes
Just do it! Nike

Quotes About Money and Retirement Planning

It’s not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. Robert Kiyosaki

Know what you own, and know why you own it. Peter Lynch

Do you have an investment policy statement?

You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. Dave Ramsey
Create your own written retirement plan.
The NewRetirement Planner makes it easy to get started and improve your wealth.
If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.
Edmund Burke
Many folks think they aren’t good at earning money, when what they don’t know is how to use it. Frank A. Clark
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Oscar Wilde

Explore 18 retirement income strategies

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. Yogi Berra
Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. Ayn Rand
Set and achieve goals with the NewRetirement Planner.
The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money. Anonymous

Financial peace isn’t the acquisition of stuff. It’s learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. You can’t win until you do this. Dave Ramsey

Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big!

Every time you borrow money, you’re robbing your future self. Nathan W. Morris
Fear no more the heat o the sun, nor the furious winter’s rages. Thou thy worldly task hast done, home art gone and taken thy wages. William Shakespeare

It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements

Money is something you got to make in case you don’t die. Max Asnas

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Woody Allen

I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left. Voltaire

Lifetime annuity calculator

The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income. George Foreman

18 retirement income strategies

People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. Cato

For many people, being asked to solve their own retirement savings problems is like being asked to build their own cars. Richard Thaler

Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. Mario Puzo

You can be young without money but you can’t be old without it. Tennessee Williams

Don’t look for the need in the haystack. Just buy the haystack. John Bogle

John Bogle’s best advice to retirees.

Quotes About Enjoying Life and Leisure

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop

Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. Harry Vardon

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. William Shakespeare

Choose a work that you love and you won’t have to work another day. Confucius

Volunteering after retirement

Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown

Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. Robert Rivers
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. Henry Ford
Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. Patrick Foley
Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you haven’t done in years. Steven Price
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. Henry David Thoreau
Set & achieve goals with the NewRetirement Planner
There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it retirement. I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan

Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. Soren Kierkegaard

To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. Bertrand Russell

Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to. Susan Cain

Quotes About Work (Enjoying Work Instead of Retirement)

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. Scott Elledge

Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought first tired of working, then tired of not. Richard Armour

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Author Unknown

Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future

To retire is to die. Pablo Casals

Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Simone De Beauvoir

The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work. Gilbert K. Chesterton

Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people. Maggie Kuhn

Sooner or later I’m going to die, but I’m not going to retire. Margaret Mead

A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age. Author Unknown

“To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth.” Pearl S. Buck

14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best!

Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark. Samuel Johnson

In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire. Charles Francis Adams

The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. Vince Lombardi

Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. Ernest Hemingway

Choose a work that you love and you won’t have to work another day. Confucius

There’s no retirement for an artist, it’s your way of living so there’s no end to it. Henry Moore

Musicians don’t retire; they stop when there’s no more music in them. Louis Armstrong

Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. Mason Cooley

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. James M. Barrie

A man ought to work. That’s what he is here for. That’s how he contributes to the welfare of the community. W. Somerset Maugham

Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need. Voltaire

Reverse your retirement

I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Unknown

If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. William Shakespeare

Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young. George Burns

I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day O’Connor

Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way. Betty White

I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner

Quotes About Aging

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Mark Twain

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. John Barrymore

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there. George Burns

People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. George Burns

You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. George Bernard Shaw

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it. Doris Day

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was? Satchel Paige

Get 65 more quotes on aging here…

Quotes About Retirement Planning

A goal without a plan is just a wish. Antoine de Saint Exupery

In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable. Dwight D. Eisenhower

Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. Alan Lakein

7 ways to bring your future into the present

Preparation for old age should begin not later than one’s teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement. Arthur E. Morgan

Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give. William A. Ward

Always have a plan, and belive in it. Nothing happens by accident. Chuck Knox

Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. Fitzhugh Dodson

NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Source Unknown

God’s retirement plan is out of this world. Source Unknown

The post 124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More! appeared first on NewRetirement.

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